I thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things I appreciated right away is that he didn’t hesitate to call himself “fat.” Why would he? That alone was startling to me, having dated my share of men and women who were far from accepting of their bodies.
Now will I date someone who’s a prime candidate for gastric bypass?
But once we started dating, the kind of fat talk I’d regularly engaged in about myself, usually silently, wouldn’t cut it. When I feel like a failure about my body, that extends into other arenas, making me less enthusiastic about my writing, sure that, somehow, other people are making those same judgments.
Knowing that he’s dealt with actual discrimination because of his size has forced me to ask myself tough questions when I do worry about my weight: namely, what am I really worried about? It’s a vicious cycle, so living with someone who simply doesn’t let himself care about what other people think is a constant revelation.
The reason why they can attract a hot woman is that women CAN be attracted in other ways.
Some women are extremely picky and will not accept a fat guy, but the vast majority of women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a guy than most men realize. If you’re a fat guy and you’re looking to get laid, get a girlfriend or find yourself a wife, what you need to do is improve your ability to attract women when you interact with them.