I also had more than one man my age ask if I’d like to enter into a “friends with benefits” arrangement. My prospects were drying up rapidly and I was getting increasingly discouraged.I was still poking around on Tinder and Match when my best girlfriend told me about a guy. I dated one when I was in my early 20s and he’s still one of my best friends. Here are the reasons you wave off the idea of dating young: (aimless, noncommittal, out just for sex). But it didn’t seem to fit my reasons for dating younger, nor is it an accurate or flattering explanation of why younger men are worth dating. But that’s not a power position, and it does you no favors. Beware of wielding stereotypes; they’re cheap shortcuts masquerading as wisdom, and if you use them, prepare to be judged by them. You would only applaud someone if she succeeded in doing something impossible or crazy, or if she got away with something she shouldn’t have. The cougar image is cartoonish at best, derived either from a culture fearful of a sexually empowered woman, or from the woman herself, who claims cougardom as a way to boost her self esteem via sex with a man many years her junior. I guess you can say I’m in the throes of a major midlife crisis.As Dolly Parton once famously quipped, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” Because of all of this, I’m constantly called the “c-word” — that “c-word” being “cougar.” I do really hate that word.
Every time I gave OKCupid a try, I specified my desired age range for a mate to be between 35 and 55 years old — and I’d get constantly barraged with messages from enthusiastic young 20-somethings looking to be my “cub.” The perception that I’m (supposedly) at my sexual peak seemed to be the prime motivation for these boys to reach out to me.Pop star Shakira is involved with a man 10 years her junior.Actor Hugh Jackman has been married to Deborra-Lee Furness for 17 years. A recent article in magazine looked at a handful of real-life May-December romances, focusing mainly on those between older women and younger men.Also I think I’m scared to publish this while we’re still dating for fear of jinxing the dang thing. He hasn’t been doing his own thing forever, so to speak, so there’s metaphorical room for me in his life.It seems like maybe we can share life more easily, rather than me feeling like I’m tagging along in someone else’s plans. You use it as a reason to blow them off, pare back your options, and fuel embittered stories about how It’s So Hard to Meet Good Men. One of my most popular posts to date is 7 Reasons Why You Should Want to Date an Older Woman. ” followed by a high five, which is kind of odd when you think about it. As I approached my mid 30s, I wondered if this meant I was now a bona fide cougar. The term conjures an image of a hungry, embattled woman with heavily coiffed hair, mummified in makeup, squeezed into a bedazzled top and looking to “score” a young man. The problem is, you think that person has to be older than you. Just as chronological age doesn’t always “cure” one of immaturity, a man can be all of these things and still be 24, 28, 30 (depending on what you consider young). You’ve told yourself you don’t really want a younger man. Regardless of how sexually permissive and progressive we think we are, there’s still a bit of eyebrow raising when a woman dates younger. And when I tell people that (if they ask or if it comes up), I either get a lilting “Reaalllly” or a “You go girl!He teaches me something new every day and I really respect him. I do have baggage, but I still want those things and I shouldn’t feel bad about that, nor should I settle and not get the things I want. I graduated college the year he graduated high school. It feels kind of dumb to be writing a post about this as if it’s some kind of revolutionary discovery.He has this wild amount of energy, which I capitalize on, and which makes me less of an old-ass hermit cat lady. Women have been dating younger men since the dawn of time, I’m sure. I noticed that I stopped referring to him by his nickname and pointing out our age difference, and with those walls down, I was able to admit that this had become an honest-to-goodness relationship.When it comes to the subject of love we always hope that there are no real significant barriers to its success.In our hearts, if not in our heads, we’re convinced that love will always trump practical concerns such as money, social class, race and even gender. And what about age as it relates to older women involved with younger men?